Category: Vlog

Adventures in Film Photography

When I picked up the Lomography La Sardina back in 2012, my intention was pretty clear: film photography was going to be no pressure, no strings attached. After nearly 15 years with my little toy camera, I still feel the same. But now, I’m playing with a Canon EOS 850 from 1988.

I think the lack of “striving” and low expectations has actually been pretty cathartic; I can play and experiment without the pressure of an immediate, perfect outcome. The tension of limited exposures is actually very helpful, too. There’s a purposeful slowing, allowing me to spend time relishing in the composition, rather than the immediate disposable nature of a digital image.

The Womack, Phoenix, Arizona

Do I consider myself a photographer? Absolutely not. But I’m enjoying the experience of film and the patience and care it requires.

What I’m learning about myself through film photography

The fact that it takes so long to see the final image is one of my favorite parts. It’s been allowing me to think on what I want to shoot, knowing that I won’t know what’s going to happen for potentially a month or more from the moment I snap the image. Right now I’m sending images out to Gelatin Labs, and by the time I send out a few rolls and receive my scans, I’ve forgotten what it was that I had originally shot. It’s a pleasant surprise to see what happened.

Kiholo Trail, Hawai’i

“Graphic Design Eye” is a thing and it’s been something I’ve been cultivating over many years. It’s years as an artist in high school and college. It’s YouTube, it’s having taken photos for this blog. All of those lessons in composition compound and make it easier for me to see fun things in the viewfinder. Am I any good? Doesn’t matter, but it gives me an active opportunity to train my eye, even if it’s just for my own enjoyment and desire to find cool perspectives in the world.

Manini’owali Beach, Hawai’i

It doesn’t matter if film photography is expensive, I’m still really excited to play with it. Between purchasing a roll and developing it, it’s not cheap- not by a long shot. I would save way more money by picking up an old point and shoot and memory card. But there’s something to be said for the natural grain of this old 1980s camera, that the camera is incredibly loud, that it only has a few simple settings I can control, and the patience it forces on me. For as much money as I pay for these photos, it should be easier… but, I’m ok with “hard.” Still might pick up a fancy point and shoot at some point, but the rewards of analog experience are way higher.

So what’s next in this adventure?

Tempe City Hall Plaza, Arizona

To be honest… not quite sure yet. I’ve debated back-and-forth whether I’d like to have fun doing small experiments and small challenges for myself, to make the experience fun and give me an excuse to continue training my eye.

A few things I’ve considered include:

Doing a one-a-day photo for a month or two, leaning into exploring summertime in Arizona

Deep diving on a theme for a roll, like taking nothing but portraits of the cats, or slice of life moments

Spending rolls exploring what it looks like to be a new person in Arizona along with first time experiences as I attempt to learn about my new environment

Am I ready to add film photography into the hobby pile, along with all the other things I do? Not quite sure yet, and that’s ok.

As I noted at the head of this post, this is all purposefully no pressure, no strings attached. If I put down this 1988 Canon later this year, it has served its purpose until I pick it up again.

Shout out to Jose, for taking this photo of me in Hawai’i. I’m probably at my most relaxed in a very long time.

July 22, 2024
Pivoting to a New North Star
It’d be cheesy to start with, “long time, no post” but here we are. My last post on this blog was 2022, which feels like a world away. A lot has changed, a lot has stayed the same… but my love for blogging never really went away; I’m happy to have my little carved out platform that’s not algo-driven. So let’s talk about a new North Star.

I’ve moved from San Francisco

After nearly 15 years in the Bay Area, I’ve moved out to Arizona to start an adventure that has had tons of twists and turns after only a few short months.

Jose and I moved out here at the tail end of 2023 and it’s been fascinating to experience the world outside of the bubble that is San Francisco. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss home but I’ve gotten a lot better about accepting my Desert Era. It’s taken a lot from me, but after four months, I’m starting to find my ~~sea~~ sand legs.

I’m pivoting the direction of the Youtube Channel to a new North Star.

Sounds dramatic, but the pivot is in a way that makes me happy and more fulfilled. It had gotten to the point where I was known as someone who would only make tutorials, only talk about fitting adjustments and to be honest… it was boring and formulaic. It felt like more of a drag than a joy, so I want to bring the channel back to its roots: vintage fashion and the 40s and 50s lifestyle.

For years, people had followed me strictly because I’ve taught them how to press a corner seam, or how to use a french curve, talking about fabrics and swatch books. I’ve appreciated the support over so many years! But I’m ready for a change, so the channel is starting to trend more towards the fashion and culture of the 40s and 50s, which unlocks so many more opportunities for being creative again.

I’m going to start blogging more regularly again.

Because the channel is changing, it made sense for this blog to change, too. I’ll be moving towards a more casual, relaxed tone to share inspiration, projects worked on, and some of the behind the scenes of being a content creator.

I’m under no illusion that readership will be small and this is more of an artistic exercise… but I’m excited to talk about what I’m working on without the expectation to perform. Things I’m already considering writing about include:
- Wins and challenges of working on any particular video and growing the channel
- Research I’m doing for upcoming pieces of content, including thoughts on books I’m reading, media I’m consuming, or anything that’s informing what it is I’m creating
- Round ups from what is happening on YouTube and Instagram, but with more context
Some of my older posts will remain, though most will be removed, only because they’re so old and dusty that maintaining that old content doesn’t make sense anymore (heck, there are an insane amount of broken images and links on those old posts!)

Regardless, I’m happy to have brought blogging back into my life, since it’s always been one of the things I’ve missed most in the hustle of the social media landscape.

Here’s to turning a page to what’s next~
April 19, 2024
Gratefulness as a Sewing Blogger
Last year I was’t in a good place. The blog was growing. YouTube videos were coming out (relatively) frequently. Things were moving and shaking— and in the blogging world, momentum is everything.

But in the middle of June, after creating some of my most popular content and working on amazing collaborations, it all fell apart.

Anxiety over job security, home/life balance, and life in general came over my head like a wave. Over the course of six months I gained nearly twenty pounds, retreated into a depressed state, and there would be weeks at a time when I wouldn’t leave my house in agoraphobia.

I dissolved from a vibrant excited person, to a girl who would cry during her lunch breaks. I’d binge eat at lunch, then proceed to starve myself the rest of the day.

Typing my sewing website url was painful. Launching the Instagram app to see the compounding effects of my absence made it worse. YouTube? Forget about it. Everything I had built as a sewing blogger was coming apart.

The comments from followers were upbeat and encouraging, but I couldn’t emotionally link the positive energy being sent, to the creativity and love that had sparked the blog in the first place. Everything was hard. Sewing became difficult. And I stopped.

By the time December came about, I made a conscious decision to figure out how to pull the veil from over my head.

It wasn’t (ISN’T) easy, and every ounce of my being was fighting the decision. But slowly, day by day, I arrived at this post.

Making the effort to be mindful of my thoughts, my actions, and feelings ended up being my salvation. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve been able to follow that journey. And now, I wake up grateful and thankful for what I have, for what Jose and I have built together, and for the creativity that’s flourishing back into this blog and into my sewing.

Through a lot of trial and error, I decided to spend time developing a meditation practice (shoutout to Andy Puddicombe and the Headspace App!), a morning routine, and a journaling and gratitude practice.

It felt “extra”- as if I was trying too hard, but I stuck with it, even if everything else was falling apart.
- I meditated for 15 minutes a day, consistently for months
- I read books focused on building self compassion, being patient with the creative process, and decluttering
- I woke up at 5am (even on weekends) to give my mind time to breathe and establish a morning routine
- I made it a point to journal, even if it was just one paragraph to describe what I was feeling
- I made a list of 5 things every day that I was grateful for
- I pulled a tarot card daily to have a positive perspective to look forward to
Of course, the above actions might not resonate with everyone, and everyone’s experience will vary. But for me, it helped. And still does. Please reach out to friends, family, and medical professionals if you are experiencing anything similar to what I went through. To be honest, I wish I would have reached out earlier in the middle of it.

Months and months later, I still start my journal entries with, “I’m grateful for…”

…And write at least two lines that range from, “The warm cup of coffee in my hands,” to “The nice comment someone sent me through email.” My meditation is now focused on Motivation, Self Esteem, and Mental Focus. Rather than continuing to isolate myself, I make an active attempt to share more of what I’m experiencing with friends, families, and followers. I make it a point to see a friend at least once a week to catch up. I’ve stopped beating myself up if a sewing blog post doesn’t go live.

I relied heavily on routine to help quiet my mind from chaos and a year latter I can confidently say that it’s what I needed to rediscover the path back to joy and happiness. Especially when it comes to Vintage on Tap and my sewing.

Without giving my mind time to breathe, this blog and the YouTube channel would have crashed and burned.

With a strong morning routine, quieting my anxiety through meditation, and finding a healthy work/life balance, I’ve been able to claw back towards a better mental state. And I feel strong enough to continue creating fun videos and projects to share, and have genuine conversations and connections with people who watch the channel.

Heck, without putting in the work, I wouldn’t be able to sit down to watch a classic movie with anticipation and excitement, to admire all the beautiful clothes and to be inspired to create.

I’m immensely grateful and thankful for those of you who continue to watch my sewing YouTube videos, who stuck around with me during my absence and through my mere TWELVE videos that have been released in 2018.

I’m grateful to be a sewing blogger who has so much support behind her and the love of so many people around the world. It blows my mind that people take time out of their day to watch and sew with me. I’m thankful.

I’m excited for the new people who’ve discovered me in the past year. I’m ever indebted to the Patreon supporters who still continue to cheer for me.

An entire year of mental health battles has absolutely been a journey. But I’m thankful and grateful to how mindfulness has taught me to appreciate the building blocks that make my life. It’s also made me more aware to the support from friends, family, and followers who has been unshakable through the year.

Here’s to a great November, full of happiness, meditation, and sewing love!

Resources
- Meditation with the Headspace App.
- Developing a strong morning routine using the Miracle Morning book by Hal Elrod.
- Daily journaling. My favorite journal is a gridded plain notebook from Muji.
- Writing a list of five things I was grateful for daily
- Pulling a tarot card every day to write about for perspective. My favorite deck for this was the Marshmallow Marseille.
If you or someone you know is going through depression, please seek help from family, friends, and medical or spiritual professionals. What worked for me may not work for everyone!

All the Places, All the Stuff!

Never miss a post by following me on Bloglovin’!

Or go mobile- I’m on Instagram and YouTube!

New to sewing? Check out the Start Here page!
November 4, 2018
The Real Reason I haven’t Sewn Pants
If sewing pants were easy, everyone would be doing it.

At least, that’s what I tell myself:

“One day I’ll get to it.”

“I just need to lose a little bit of weight first.”

“Once I watch that Craftsy class, I’ll jump right in.”

I wish I could say that those excuses were not my own. But they are- and they’re ones that have compelled me to inaction for a while. They’ve caused me to continue kicking the sewing-pants-thing down the road another week, another month, another year.

And even though I know it would be one of the proudest garments I’ve ever made as a seamstress, sewing pants terrifies me more than sewing my own wedding dress.

The thing is, I know I’m not alone in my feeling about sewing pants.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of other seamstresses out there who want so much to be able to have ONE GOOD pair of pants that fit them perfectly. Especially if they, like me, have spent countless hours wandering department stores, hoping that maybe that next pair of bottoms will be the one.

I’m short: 5’2″.

I have a short torso, and longer legs. I have a low belly. I like a high rise and a skinny leg. I prefer stretch denim and I’ve never owned a pair of trousers where I liked the fit, so I can’t even say I have a favorite pants material to work with.

As someone who strives very much to wear clothing I’m proud of, it’s a rare thing to wear a pair of pants that I can say, “I love those!”

The jeans I’m wearing in these photos is a pair of Levi’s Mile High Super Skinny jeans, which I’ve bought at least ten pairs of, because they’re the only jeans I’ve bought in years that fit decently and I sort of like.

It is absolutely demoralizing to think of all the reasons I’ve used to talk myself out of sewing my own pants. And again, I know I’m not alone in this.

What stops me- or rather- US– from sewing pants?

I’ve come to terms with my excuses:
- I don’t know how to measure my lower body for more than a skirt.
- I don’t know the slightest thing about fitting my low belly.
- I don’t know how to accommodate my bigger bootie.
- I don’t know how to taper the thigh-to-knee area for my chicken legs.
- What if my pants split because I didn’t work out the ease right?
- What if I get a camel-toe? How do I fix that?
This is one of those moments when the solution is sometimes right on the tip of the nose: just do the research. And I know how to do that. I know how to pour over books, articles, read reviews, watch tutorials. It’s how I built my entire sewing technique library. I did the research, I learned, I practiced, and I became an expert at what I love to do.

But for some reason, it seems like an insurmountable uphill battle when it comes to pants.

My lack of PANTS sewing and fitting experience took me time to come to grips with.

I’ve been honest about my battle with depression, my fears of being a sewing vlogger, and my size fluctuation via my Instagram and YouTube accounts.

The outpouring of support about these various topics is 100% real, and I wouldn’t trade my audience for the world.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Bianca / Retro Sewing Vlogger (@vintageontap) on Oct 9, 2018 at 11:50am PDT

So I continue to share with you my experience: I’m terrified of fitting myself for pants. And I know I can learn, but that doesn’t make the fear any less real.

Do you have a particular garment that you haven’t made– because of fear?

Is it a specific pattern? Garment type? Is it a specific type of fabric you have been avoiding like the plague?

Being honest about what we’re shrinking away from, I think, is the first step towards actually taking those steps towards overcoming hesitations.

There’s vulnerability in that. But also an opportunity to connect with the sewing community and with the resources, help, and support to make those garments happen.

I’m challenging myself to make my first pair of pants in 2018.

The year is nearly done, but there’s still time to make myself a pair of corduroy or wool high waisted, 40s pants. On to the adventure!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links :)

All the Places, All the Stuff!

Never miss a post by following me on Bloglovin’!

Or go mobile- I’m on Instagram and YouTube!

New to sewing? Check out the Start Here page!
October 12, 2018
Vintage on Tap Sewing Blog, Behind the Scenes

I joke with Jose about how working on the Vintage on Tap sewing blog feels like screaming out into the void, without anyone on the other side.

Dramatic! (I know!)

I speak about it occasionally on my Instagram— that when I write a post, or film a video, it’s like taking a piece of myself, putting it in a little paper boat, and setting it off into the ocean. If it sinks or sails, who knows. But I cared a lot about that little piece of myself, and hope it does well, and hope there’s someone on the other side of the world who gets to see it come to shore safely.

Honestly, I’m sure there are segments of my audience who might feel that way from time to time. The screaming into the void part, especially with the ways of the Internet.

When I get the occasional email from a YouTube or Instagram follower who says, “Starstruck!” or “OMG I watch all your videos!” it takes me aback, to be honest. I’m humbled by it, but at the same time in awe of the person on the other side.

That they picked up my little paper boat, they liked the little piece of myself that they found, they took it into their heart, and saw value in it. I’m consistently shocked and humbled by my audience. I’m thankful.

After being a sewing blogger on and off for years, I originally stumbled on Colette Patterns when I fell in love with the different versions of their Violet blouse.

I bought the pattern, bought what I assumed was the appropriate fabric (voice over: it wasn’t), and made myself a blouse. I loved it, even with all its sewing imperfections.

But since then, I’ve been a fan of Colette Patterns, their mission, and the community that they’ve embraced and grown through their work and expansion into Seamwork Magazine.

When I was contacted a few months back about becoming a Seamwork Ambassador, I had that same feeling of awe. “Who? Me?”

If I could have turned and pointed at myself from my laptop, I would have. This company- which I had loved for years, who I had admired for being female run, and which operated like a startup (as an SF woman in tech, I say YEY!)– was contacting me to advocate for their business? It was a no brainer to sign up.

Heck, the moment that Seamwork Magazine was announced, I signed up. Immediately.

My audience values my honesty and I’m 100% willing to say Seamwork has a way to go for their business model and products. There are plenty of articles out there (even from sewing friends of mine!) who have legit criticisms about Colette Patterns and (by extension) Seamwork Magazine. I see all their points and I take all their points.

As an ambassador, I hear you! And heck, even as an ambassador, I’m extremely particular about their patterns and whether or not they fit into my lifestyle! Still, I’m still proud to say that I love what the founder, Sarai, and her team have built. I admire it.

As part of the Vintage on Tap behind the scenes, Jose and I discuss where the sewing world, as a whole, is moving.

How is the industry moving into the future, how is it going to survive as Millennials hand the reigns over to Gen-Z creatively, how does sewing modernize?

When we conceptualized our videos, we wanted to make it a point to be prepared and be flexible to go that way, too. Colette Patterns and Seamwork Magazine, to us, feel like they’re leading the way in that direction. Even with stumbles along the way, they’re doing that. And Jose and I love that as industrious tech people.

Being featured in the October 2018 issue of Seamwork Magazine is kind of a big deal for me. It’s one of those moments I genuinely know that I’m not screaming out into the void; that there is someone I admire on the other side who picked up my little paper boat and saw it for what it was.

To read the Vintage on Tap sewing feature in Seamwork Magazine, click the link!

Bringing fresh perspective on sewing, pattern drafting, sewing self esteem, and caring for the things we produce with our hands is somewhere Vintage on Tap overlaps with Seamwork Magazine.

Especially as society continues to move towards decreasing consumerism, caring for the environment, caring more for the effects of globalism in the clothing industry– making sewing approachable and modern becomes painfully important.

Sewing today does not fit the stereotypes of it being an “old lady activity.”

Sewing today is fun, it’s engaging, and it breeds a global community where someone like me, can reach someone like you, through a series of internet pipes. That’s ultimately the engine that powers all the work that happens behind the scenes.

Neither of us has to scream into the void. The sewing videos and tutorials that appear on Vintage on Tap make don’t have to sink into the ocean: you get to watch them at home.

If you’re not already subscribed to Seamwork Magazine, please click here.

If you’re a fan of projects that appear on the Vintage on Tap sewing blog, you’ll find Seamwork Magazine patterns and tutorials below:

The Seamwork Kristin wrap top, featured in the Behind the Scenes video of this post. Perfect for a weekend getaway and one of those rewarding projects you want to make over and over again.

The Seamwork Camden cape, voted on by my Patreon supporters. This cape is super easy to make and there are so many options to upgrade its different aspects, including making bound buttonholes or even adding a facing/lining combo!

The Seamwork Almada Robe, easily my most worn Me Made to this day. Perfect for those early mornings or just out of a long luxurious bath. I made mine in a polyester satin, but it would also be amazing in a warm and yummy flannel for the cooler months.

The blouse photographed in this blog post is the Colette Jasmine, which is also available for download with your Seamwork subscription.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links :)

All the Places, All the Stuff!

Never miss a post by following me on Bloglovin‘!

Or go mobile- I’m on Instagram and YouTube!

New to sewing? Check out the Start Here page!

October 3, 2018
Big News + Sewing A Wedding Dress!
I’m happy to announce that there’s an engagement at Vintage on Tap HQ ?

The blog and YouTube channel is Jose and my combined effort and it was only right to let you guys know the news!

Jose and I have been together for five years and he proposed to me when we were on vacation in Italy last month. I go into the proposal story in my vlog video, but just some highlights:
- Venice at 1am is absolutely beautiful.
- The canals are gorgeous, quiet, and private– perfect for intimate moments and happy tears.
- Albondiga the Cat is involved!
Definitely watch the video if you want to know more about the moment he asked!

This photo was taken shortly after he asked, in front of St. Mark’s Basilica!

There was no hesitation in our decision to show you guys the wedding planning process.

Of course, this blog is focused solely on sewing, but showing you some of the behinds the scenes process might sneak into projects and videos here and there. No, we don’t see ourselves doing videos about how to decorate centerpieces for the reception (…probably!)– but some of the inspiration, color stories, and more formalized photos might make their way onto our Instagram and into behind the scenes videos.

Of course, the Pinterest board for the wedding has already started to be built.

However, one of the biggest components to the wedding is… the wedding dress.

And Yes: I’ll be sewing my own wedding dress!

After some back and forth, I decided that sewing my own dress would be the way to go. When I brought it up to Jose as a possibility, his reaction was 100% one of the MANY reasons I adore him:

“Of course you should make your dress! It’ll do really well on the channel.”

Jose’s answer was frank, without hesitation, and shows just how involved he is in Vintage on Tap’s success, that it wasn’t even a question!

Sewing fancy dresses is already something I do for this blog so I’m not scared of the process.

Check out a couple of the dresses I’ve made previously:

For a holiday sewing collaboration, I sewed a pinup holiday dress in red silk dupioni, with full underlining and couture sewing details. Click here to watch the sewing tutorial video for this dress.

I’ve also used super expensive an acetone/viscose Italian crepe for this hand sewn cocktail dress. This blue dress included spiral steel boning and had a lined top. Click here to learn more about sewing this pinup style cocktail dress.

Being intimidated by sewing a wedding dress is not something I’m overtly concerned about.

However, my reservations are around:
- Deciding on a pattern.
- Sourcing the materials I want to use at a price I’m willing to pay.
- The process of sewing WHILE there’s also a bunch of other things happening at the same time.
The wins for making my own wedding dress are epic, though.

Wins include:
- Making a custom, one of a kind dress.
- Controlling the quality, in and out.
- Making it relatively “cheap” by couture-level wedding dress standards.
- Splurging on aspects of the dress that I find important.
- Stretching my sewing skills and really embracing making a Once in the Lifetime dresses.
Who knows- maybe it’ll lead to a full fledge Sewing a Wedding Dress series?

I would love to be able to share a beginning-to-end wedding dress sewing process: the fabric selection, the sewing pattern selection, the fitting, the initial muslins, and then the sewing details to take it over the top.

The wedding is still a ways away, so videos about sewing a wedding dress will be forthcoming. But I would love if you were a part of it.
July 17, 2018
3 Reasons Why Sewing Increases your Self Esteem
I’m a firm believer in self care.

Whether it’d be meditation, taking care of your health, spending time with friends, or even simple pampering. Sewing, though, is on another level and I can’t recommend it enough for strengthening those self care muscles. To me, sewing increases self esteem.

In this post, I’ll be outlining how sewing has helped me when I’m feeling blue, and helped me through those tough times.

Of course, if needed please consult your medical professionals. This post discusses the small daily things that might have given me a positive boost and might be helpful for you!

It’s extremely easy to fall into a negative self esteem rut.

Whether it’s by feeling out of place in your own skin, life is just a pain in the butt, or even just the simple feeling of… blah. (Seriously, even just “blah.”)

In 2017 I went on a snowball journey of depression, and then the compounding effects of…
1. Negative self image when trying on clothes at the store (and feeling out of place in my own body)
2. Finding the same fitting problems over and over again (again, feeling like crap about myself at any opportunity)
3. Having the feeling that I couldn’t control my self image
Eventually I found my way back to sewing, reminding myself of what I loved about it- and what it brought into my life that filled my heart with joy. I knew that by going back to it and with time, sewing would increase my self esteem.

The first reason sewing increases self esteem is by allowing you to observe your measurements in an actionable way.

When you’re feeling down, observing your body and measurements is hard. But as I’ve spoken about in a previous vlog, your measurements are points of information- and information is power. (Click to Watch: Weight-loss and Sewing Self Esteem)

By knowing your measurements and writing them down, you’re able to positively focus your attention on the action of pattern drafting.

When you take physical action on them- whether its learning how to mold a piece of fabric or picking out the right amount of fabric to buy- you’re able to emotionally “remove” yourself from the closeness of The Numbers.

The numbers can be terrifying- and in 2017, they grew like crazy. But, learning new skills through sewing made those numbers a little less scary- a little less upsetting. I felt like I could harness them into something beautiful through sewing.

The most perfect example, was when I sewed a two piece bathing suit for the first time, shame about my measurements: be damned! (Click to Watch: Sewing a Bathing Suit video tutorial)

The second reason sewing increases self esteem is that it focuses your attention when the going gets tough.

Sewing gives you a goal to work towards as a distraction when life may be chaotic, focusing on bringing together both creativity and engineering. Cutting fabric, sculpting a dart, hand sewing a hem- all of those skills require intense focus and attention, and can sometimes be a welcome relief to life.

An example of this was when I made a linen version of a shirt dress, totally off season, but because I emotionally needed to.

The fabric for this dress sat on my sewing table for months. Literally- months. But when I knew I was feeling helpless, without focus, listless, BLAH– I picked up the fabric, and got to work. Five minutes, ten minutes, thirty minutes a day until it was done.

Sewing that dress gave me something to commit to daily, until I got back into a regular routine and back into the flow of living.

The third reason I believe sewing increases self esteem, is that when you complete a garment, it instills pride.

Whether or not the project turns out perfectly, investing time and energy into something you make yourself gives you a sense of pride… because You Made It.

Being able to go through the beginning, middle, and end of a project gives you the Very Real Feeling of… Look how far I’ve come.

It’s an extremely powerful experience to be able to see that you’re making progress, on something, ANYTHING, when you’re not feeling your best.

While we’re not all powerful, and can’t control our entire lives, creative projects we spend our time on is something we can hold close to our heart. Being able to run your hand over all the handmade garments in your closet, hung up in a row, gives the sense that there is progression and movement.

This applies even when a project doesn’t work out.

A perfect example of this was a cocktail dress I made years ago, which brought me nothing but blood, sweat, and tears! (Click to Watch: Cocktail Dress tutorial video) I worked on it for days, and sat behind my sewing machine crying more than once. In the end, even though it didn’t work out, I still felt pride that I had FINISHED.

That finish line was everything.

Sewing increased my self esteem through the journey- because the feeling of completion made me feel like my time, effort, and energy was worth it. And I learned so much- nothing was lost.

Finding little “hacks” to positively look at yourself, even if you’re initially faking it, goes a long way in improving your happiness.

Of course, if you’re in the need of help from friends, family, spiritual leaders, or from the medical establishment, definitely do that as well. But for those little Pick-Me-Ups, sewing has helped me immensely.

Please let me know in the comments how sewing has improved your self esteem.

You can also tag me on Instagram, @vintageontap with photos of the garments you’ve made that really boosted your self esteem and let me know what about them really helped. I’ll be sharing some of your responses on my Instagram Stories.
All the Places, All the Stuff!

Never miss a post by following me on Bloglovin’!
Or go mobile- I’m on Instagram and YouTube!
May 15, 2018
Vlog: Weight and Sewing Self Esteem

At this point, I’ve hit on weight and sewing self esteem three times already.

This time, I figured it was time for an intimate conversation about my feelings in video. (My previous posts about this topic can be found here)

Talking about weight loss and weight gain in relation to your hobby and craft is really something that can be dissected into a million different pieces.

Where to start?

What to cover?

How deep to dive in?

How am *I* even handling it?

The topic is huge and there have been a million books written about weight loss (and gain.) Likewise, there are a million books written about self esteem and self worth. Bringing the two together into a positive learning opportunity, though?

For the purposes of this sewing blog post, I define Sewing Self Esteem as how you view the clothes you make through your craft and love of sewing– how you perceive the fit, how you perceive how they are worn through your lifestyle.

The only person I can speak for is myself.

As I say in a disclaimer in the video, I’m only comfortable to speak for myself about this topic. I only speak from my experiences and from how I perceive my weight loss and how that’s hitting me in relation to my craft. Of course, I want to be mindful not to offend anyone or say anything that is perceived as nasty or out of line– but I can only speak for my journey and the path.

My Weight Sewing Self Esteem took a hit when nothing in my closet fit.

Essentially it came down to this:

I spent hours and hours on a piece- time, effort, money. But, its either too big or too small. And not just by a little bit. But a lot.

Even though I felt fantastic about myself as a person- confident in my body, I felt very physically ill.

And this is really the kicker.

Loving myself and my body didn’t make the physical health feel any better. I couldn’t sleep, was always tired, and had (still do!) high blood pressure. But the weight I had gained didn’t stop me from wanting to explore my sewing craft- to perfect my skills as a seamstress- and to keep working on what I loved.

Ultimately, I refused to let myself take a Sewing Self Esteem hit.

Every time we sew, we have an opportunity to learn, to grow, to explore sewing. As our weight fluctuates (and it probably will)– rather than feeling sad about the change, its a moment to reflect on how amazing our bodies are and how awesome it is that we get to dress them up however we want.

My takeaway from my experience is… fabric comes and goes. Understanding that and understanding that our weight on the scale and size on the measuring tape do not define who we are- let alone who we are as seamstresses and dressmakers is VITAL.

Never let your weight stop you from sewing. Even if in 6 months your measurements change, that change won’t take away the practice, time, care, and skills you learned from the experience of making. And as seamstresses, we get to savor that like no one else does.

Are you experiencing weight fluctuations? Has that stopped you from sewing? Why?

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June 1, 2017
Pinup and Vintage 2017 Sewing Resolutions!

My 2017 sewing resolutions are going to make me feel like a beginner again!

With the techniques I want to learn, I’ll be hitting the sewing books again and going through muslin fabric like nobody’s business. My 2017 sewing resolutions are a big step for me, especially with so much sewing experience behind my back! I’ve actually been avoiding the techniques for quite some time, but it’s time to get myself together and finally expand my sewing repertoire. Definitely watch my latest vlog to see some examples of patterns I’d like to tackle and why.

Also, my latest video also goes into my projects from 2016, providing a nice little retrospective of a few of my Vintage Pledge pieces and some of the projects that really pushed my sewing skills to the next level last year.

Pictured above are my collab post with Allie J, the little red dress project from December, the pinup bathing suit I made in the summer, as well as the Seamwork Almada robe. I love each of them for different reasons and it was nice to be able to look at the huge catalog of garments I’ve made for the website and see how far I’ve come.

Definitely stick around for my 2017 projects- I can’t wait to tackle some more complicated pieces and demystify the sewing process so that you can make them for yourself!

January 2, 2017
Weightloss as a Seamstress, Revisted
It’s been about 1 year since I last wrote about weightloss as a seamstress.

What inspired me to write the post initially was that I was trying to find healthy coping mechanisms for my own weight gain. I was trying to understand what that meant for me and my projects– and how to cope in a body positive way.

Since last year’s post, I’ve gained even more weight- and again, that’s ok. There’s no reason to shame myself for having done so; its natural and happens. What has also changed since last year is that my sewing hours have ramped up and I produce a new garment every couple weeks. The weight gain has not stopped me from taking on projects that are form fitting or that expose a little bit of tummy. Seriously, I made a swimsuit this year and posed for photos in it. I can still pose and be fierce, even with the extra pounds packed on.

Full disclosure, my best body-affirmation doesn’t come from fashion magazines or traditional media- it actually comes from drag queens. One of my favorite aspects of drag culture is that it encourages you to love yourself at any size and rewards those who can step out of their shell and really “feel the fantasy” (see Drag Race, etc.) Of course even having been a fan of the culture for years still means I have a lot to learn. But that doesn’t mean I can’t channel that happiness and confidence when I’m in public, trying to pose for a photo for the blog, even with a little extra curve on my body.

Being fierce at any size doesn’t mean I don’t want to be healthy, though.

I can candidly admit that I do have to lose weight. Not for vanity, but for health. I’ve officially reached my 30s and want to be mobile, healthy, and glowing, especially as this blog grows and grows. The added weight to my height isn’t helping my blood pressure and making steps to improve my longevity can always start now. Like wearing sunscreen.

Looking back on old posts, there are things I’ve made that I can’t wear right now which really bums me out. All those clothes are sitting in my closet, waiting to be worn. Unfortunately, within the sewing community this part of sewing doesn’t ever get talked about, just swallowed silently as just another adjustment to make on a pattern piece. For all the effort that I made making my clothes, I want that invested energy to be enjoyed every day and not wasted.

Focusing on weightloss as a seamstress for me means:
- Feeling happy and confident in the clothes I make
- Being able to know my body’s dimensions intimately for a better fitting garment
- Reducing the amount of pattern blending that I’ve been having to do since my weight has increased
I’ll probably still rock a waist cincher– it’s super pin up and vintage and I enjoy it. I love the silhouette it creates and the authenticity it gives my garments. An additional challenge will be to flawlessly take in everything I’ve made over the past year.

I’m ready to experience some weightloss as a seamstress and am actually really looking forward to it. Here’s to a healthy and happy year for me!
October 17, 2016
Me Made May and the Who Made Your Clothes Revolution

Updated May 28, 2016:

I can happily say that one year after I originally wrote this post, my feelings and opinions on the importance of Me Made haven’t changed. Rereading what I wrote served as a healthy reminder as to why I take this blog so seriously and why promoting hand made clothing is a life goal.

Child labor sucks and puts a blemish on modern society’s “We’re Evolved!” point of view. For a lot of people, the issue of child labor is enough of a cause to try and reverse all the wrongs of the modern fast fashion industry. For me personally, its the mindless consumption that drives me up the wall- the idea that a SALE sign topper fills people with adrenaline and a high when the credit card purchase goes through. (Having worked in retail in a previous life, I can assure you that that “sale” isn’t really a sale.) A lot of articles have been written as of late about the constant sales and how even amongst retailers, its starting to harm their bottom line.

The lack of value that is placed on a piece of clothing- and in turn the art of sewing- is unfortunate. I know plenty of people who would baulk at paying more than 20$ on a blouse. The usual cry is, “I can buy that for cheaper elsewhere!”

But, when it comes to Me Made clothes, I gladly pay more than that every time.

Spending 40$ on fabric for a blouse + time and labour could easily turn a Me Made top into a 100$ blouse if I paid myself proper wages. But, its a sacrifice I am happy and fortunate to be able to make.

This past year there was a great hashtag trending on Instagram, “Who Made Your Clothes?” If you haven’t had the opportunity to check it out the website of this great cause, please do so. I was happy to open my social media every day to see people discussing this and for awareness of the issue to be raised amongst so many consumers.

As for me and where I stand, my goal last year was a start. As of this update, most of my clothing is Me Made. My last garment purchase was a pair of Hue tights which were made in the USA. I endeavor to keep making conscious decisions like this in the future.

Originally Posted May 2, 2015:

I, Bianca from Vintage on Tap, sign up as a participant of Me-Made-May ’15. I endeavour to wear Me Made items at least 3 times a week for the duration of May 2015′

Wait, what?

If you haven’t heard of Me Made May, it’s a lovely self challenge that promotes the appreciation of the handmade garments seamstresses make for themselves. The challenge has been out in the blogosphere for about 5 years and draws hundreds of participants who post on Flickr, Pinterest, and Instagram (#mmm15)

For each seamstress, the MMM15 challenge means something different, but the purpose is the same: incorporate handmade items into your daily rotation, wearing less RTW and (eventually) phasing those items out.

The concept is something I’m extremely passionate about. The ease at which fashion is disposable is astonishing: while fads come and go (and no doubt I love seeing what’s “in” right now)– the idea that there are so many people around the world who are bending over backwards for that 5$ top boggles my mind. Sweatshop conditions for millions of people around the world is agreed upon to be unethical: but walking the walk is hard when you just need to pick something up real quick for that one thing you got invited to.

We all fall prey to that discounted pair of jeans- I am definitely not above that- but if one less garment made in deplorable working conditions is in my regular rotation, then I am doing what I can do from here. Ultimately we vote with our wallet when it comes to these sorts of things– its important to at least be aware of who made your clothes or where they came from. And frankly, I’d rather spend my money on the raw materials to make fabulous clothing for myself. I’ll undoubtedly buy some sweater someday, somewhere that wasn’t ethically made- no doubt about it- and I’m sure all my readers will, too. But raising awareness and being conscious of those decisions as they happen- and conscious when you’re replacing them with something vintage or Me Made will help offset those habits. Its all about doing what we can when we have a choice.

Speaking about the challenge specifically, it will be interesting for me because I have a bunch of really random pieces of clothing in my wardrobe, all of which I made for random reasons. Incorporating them into a daily wardrobe will certainly be tricky, but it can definitely be done.

Recently I was linked to a Coletterie wardrobe challenge that was posted in 2014 and really hit the nail on the head for how I’ve been feeling about my struggles to complete a strong closet. A lot of the clothes I’ve made previously have been all over the place, not flowing together and being cohesive enough to evolve into a functioning collection of pieces. If you haven’t checked out the Coletterie series of posts, I highly recommend them! [May 10, 2016: I actually started doing this wardrobe challenge and you can read more about that here]

Either way, fostering the curiosity of who made your clothes is a small step.

All it takes is looking at the tags in your clothes every once in a while and deciding that maybe next time, you want to know who made your clothes.

Invest in a quality piece instead that was made in a place that doesn’t exploit child labor or continually takes advantage of poor working conditions. Just one piece at a time.

May 30, 2016