Tag: Sewing Self Esteem

The Real Reason I haven’t Sewn Pants
If sewing pants were easy, everyone would be doing it.

At least, that’s what I tell myself:

“One day I’ll get to it.”

“I just need to lose a little bit of weight first.”

“Once I watch that Craftsy class, I’ll jump right in.”

I wish I could say that those excuses were not my own. But they are- and they’re ones that have compelled me to inaction for a while. They’ve caused me to continue kicking the sewing-pants-thing down the road another week, another month, another year.

And even though I know it would be one of the proudest garments I’ve ever made as a seamstress, sewing pants terrifies me more than sewing my own wedding dress.

The thing is, I know I’m not alone in my feeling about sewing pants.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of other seamstresses out there who want so much to be able to have ONE GOOD pair of pants that fit them perfectly. Especially if they, like me, have spent countless hours wandering department stores, hoping that maybe that next pair of bottoms will be the one.

I’m short: 5’2″.

I have a short torso, and longer legs. I have a low belly. I like a high rise and a skinny leg. I prefer stretch denim and I’ve never owned a pair of trousers where I liked the fit, so I can’t even say I have a favorite pants material to work with.

As someone who strives very much to wear clothing I’m proud of, it’s a rare thing to wear a pair of pants that I can say, “I love those!”

The jeans I’m wearing in these photos is a pair of Levi’s Mile High Super Skinny jeans, which I’ve bought at least ten pairs of, because they’re the only jeans I’ve bought in years that fit decently and I sort of like.

It is absolutely demoralizing to think of all the reasons I’ve used to talk myself out of sewing my own pants. And again, I know I’m not alone in this.

What stops me- or rather- US– from sewing pants?

I’ve come to terms with my excuses:
- I don’t know how to measure my lower body for more than a skirt.
- I don’t know the slightest thing about fitting my low belly.
- I don’t know how to accommodate my bigger bootie.
- I don’t know how to taper the thigh-to-knee area for my chicken legs.
- What if my pants split because I didn’t work out the ease right?
- What if I get a camel-toe? How do I fix that?
This is one of those moments when the solution is sometimes right on the tip of the nose: just do the research. And I know how to do that. I know how to pour over books, articles, read reviews, watch tutorials. It’s how I built my entire sewing technique library. I did the research, I learned, I practiced, and I became an expert at what I love to do.

But for some reason, it seems like an insurmountable uphill battle when it comes to pants.

My lack of PANTS sewing and fitting experience took me time to come to grips with.

I’ve been honest about my battle with depression, my fears of being a sewing vlogger, and my size fluctuation via my Instagram and YouTube accounts.

The outpouring of support about these various topics is 100% real, and I wouldn’t trade my audience for the world.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Bianca / Retro Sewing Vlogger (@vintageontap) on Oct 9, 2018 at 11:50am PDT

So I continue to share with you my experience: I’m terrified of fitting myself for pants. And I know I can learn, but that doesn’t make the fear any less real.

Do you have a particular garment that you haven’t made– because of fear?

Is it a specific pattern? Garment type? Is it a specific type of fabric you have been avoiding like the plague?

Being honest about what we’re shrinking away from, I think, is the first step towards actually taking those steps towards overcoming hesitations.

There’s vulnerability in that. But also an opportunity to connect with the sewing community and with the resources, help, and support to make those garments happen.

I’m challenging myself to make my first pair of pants in 2018.

The year is nearly done, but there’s still time to make myself a pair of corduroy or wool high waisted, 40s pants. On to the adventure!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links :)

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October 12, 2018
3 Reasons Why Sewing Increases your Self Esteem
I’m a firm believer in self care.

Whether it’d be meditation, taking care of your health, spending time with friends, or even simple pampering. Sewing, though, is on another level and I can’t recommend it enough for strengthening those self care muscles. To me, sewing increases self esteem.

In this post, I’ll be outlining how sewing has helped me when I’m feeling blue, and helped me through those tough times.

Of course, if needed please consult your medical professionals. This post discusses the small daily things that might have given me a positive boost and might be helpful for you!

It’s extremely easy to fall into a negative self esteem rut.

Whether it’s by feeling out of place in your own skin, life is just a pain in the butt, or even just the simple feeling of… blah. (Seriously, even just “blah.”)

In 2017 I went on a snowball journey of depression, and then the compounding effects of…
1. Negative self image when trying on clothes at the store (and feeling out of place in my own body)
2. Finding the same fitting problems over and over again (again, feeling like crap about myself at any opportunity)
3. Having the feeling that I couldn’t control my self image
Eventually I found my way back to sewing, reminding myself of what I loved about it- and what it brought into my life that filled my heart with joy. I knew that by going back to it and with time, sewing would increase my self esteem.

The first reason sewing increases self esteem is by allowing you to observe your measurements in an actionable way.

When you’re feeling down, observing your body and measurements is hard. But as I’ve spoken about in a previous vlog, your measurements are points of information- and information is power. (Click to Watch: Weight-loss and Sewing Self Esteem)

By knowing your measurements and writing them down, you’re able to positively focus your attention on the action of pattern drafting.

When you take physical action on them- whether its learning how to mold a piece of fabric or picking out the right amount of fabric to buy- you’re able to emotionally “remove” yourself from the closeness of The Numbers.

The numbers can be terrifying- and in 2017, they grew like crazy. But, learning new skills through sewing made those numbers a little less scary- a little less upsetting. I felt like I could harness them into something beautiful through sewing.

The most perfect example, was when I sewed a two piece bathing suit for the first time, shame about my measurements: be damned! (Click to Watch: Sewing a Bathing Suit video tutorial)

The second reason sewing increases self esteem is that it focuses your attention when the going gets tough.

Sewing gives you a goal to work towards as a distraction when life may be chaotic, focusing on bringing together both creativity and engineering. Cutting fabric, sculpting a dart, hand sewing a hem- all of those skills require intense focus and attention, and can sometimes be a welcome relief to life.

An example of this was when I made a linen version of a shirt dress, totally off season, but because I emotionally needed to.

The fabric for this dress sat on my sewing table for months. Literally- months. But when I knew I was feeling helpless, without focus, listless, BLAH– I picked up the fabric, and got to work. Five minutes, ten minutes, thirty minutes a day until it was done.

Sewing that dress gave me something to commit to daily, until I got back into a regular routine and back into the flow of living.

The third reason I believe sewing increases self esteem, is that when you complete a garment, it instills pride.

Whether or not the project turns out perfectly, investing time and energy into something you make yourself gives you a sense of pride… because You Made It.

Being able to go through the beginning, middle, and end of a project gives you the Very Real Feeling of… Look how far I’ve come.

It’s an extremely powerful experience to be able to see that you’re making progress, on something, ANYTHING, when you’re not feeling your best.

While we’re not all powerful, and can’t control our entire lives, creative projects we spend our time on is something we can hold close to our heart. Being able to run your hand over all the handmade garments in your closet, hung up in a row, gives the sense that there is progression and movement.

This applies even when a project doesn’t work out.

A perfect example of this was a cocktail dress I made years ago, which brought me nothing but blood, sweat, and tears! (Click to Watch: Cocktail Dress tutorial video) I worked on it for days, and sat behind my sewing machine crying more than once. In the end, even though it didn’t work out, I still felt pride that I had FINISHED.

That finish line was everything.

Sewing increased my self esteem through the journey- because the feeling of completion made me feel like my time, effort, and energy was worth it. And I learned so much- nothing was lost.

Finding little “hacks” to positively look at yourself, even if you’re initially faking it, goes a long way in improving your happiness.

Of course, if you’re in the need of help from friends, family, spiritual leaders, or from the medical establishment, definitely do that as well. But for those little Pick-Me-Ups, sewing has helped me immensely.

Please let me know in the comments how sewing has improved your self esteem.

You can also tag me on Instagram, @vintageontap with photos of the garments you’ve made that really boosted your self esteem and let me know what about them really helped. I’ll be sharing some of your responses on my Instagram Stories.
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May 15, 2018
Vlog: Weight and Sewing Self Esteem

At this point, I’ve hit on weight and sewing self esteem three times already.

This time, I figured it was time for an intimate conversation about my feelings in video. (My previous posts about this topic can be found here)

Talking about weight loss and weight gain in relation to your hobby and craft is really something that can be dissected into a million different pieces.

Where to start?

What to cover?

How deep to dive in?

How am *I* even handling it?

The topic is huge and there have been a million books written about weight loss (and gain.) Likewise, there are a million books written about self esteem and self worth. Bringing the two together into a positive learning opportunity, though?

For the purposes of this sewing blog post, I define Sewing Self Esteem as how you view the clothes you make through your craft and love of sewing– how you perceive the fit, how you perceive how they are worn through your lifestyle.

The only person I can speak for is myself.

As I say in a disclaimer in the video, I’m only comfortable to speak for myself about this topic. I only speak from my experiences and from how I perceive my weight loss and how that’s hitting me in relation to my craft. Of course, I want to be mindful not to offend anyone or say anything that is perceived as nasty or out of line– but I can only speak for my journey and the path.

My Weight Sewing Self Esteem took a hit when nothing in my closet fit.

Essentially it came down to this:

I spent hours and hours on a piece- time, effort, money. But, its either too big or too small. And not just by a little bit. But a lot.

Even though I felt fantastic about myself as a person- confident in my body, I felt very physically ill.

And this is really the kicker.

Loving myself and my body didn’t make the physical health feel any better. I couldn’t sleep, was always tired, and had (still do!) high blood pressure. But the weight I had gained didn’t stop me from wanting to explore my sewing craft- to perfect my skills as a seamstress- and to keep working on what I loved.

Ultimately, I refused to let myself take a Sewing Self Esteem hit.

Every time we sew, we have an opportunity to learn, to grow, to explore sewing. As our weight fluctuates (and it probably will)– rather than feeling sad about the change, its a moment to reflect on how amazing our bodies are and how awesome it is that we get to dress them up however we want.

My takeaway from my experience is… fabric comes and goes. Understanding that and understanding that our weight on the scale and size on the measuring tape do not define who we are- let alone who we are as seamstresses and dressmakers is VITAL.

Never let your weight stop you from sewing. Even if in 6 months your measurements change, that change won’t take away the practice, time, care, and skills you learned from the experience of making. And as seamstresses, we get to savor that like no one else does.

Are you experiencing weight fluctuations? Has that stopped you from sewing? Why?

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June 1, 2017
Weightloss as a Seamstress, Revisted
It’s been about 1 year since I last wrote about weightloss as a seamstress.

What inspired me to write the post initially was that I was trying to find healthy coping mechanisms for my own weight gain. I was trying to understand what that meant for me and my projects– and how to cope in a body positive way.

Since last year’s post, I’ve gained even more weight- and again, that’s ok. There’s no reason to shame myself for having done so; its natural and happens. What has also changed since last year is that my sewing hours have ramped up and I produce a new garment every couple weeks. The weight gain has not stopped me from taking on projects that are form fitting or that expose a little bit of tummy. Seriously, I made a swimsuit this year and posed for photos in it. I can still pose and be fierce, even with the extra pounds packed on.

Full disclosure, my best body-affirmation doesn’t come from fashion magazines or traditional media- it actually comes from drag queens. One of my favorite aspects of drag culture is that it encourages you to love yourself at any size and rewards those who can step out of their shell and really “feel the fantasy” (see Drag Race, etc.) Of course even having been a fan of the culture for years still means I have a lot to learn. But that doesn’t mean I can’t channel that happiness and confidence when I’m in public, trying to pose for a photo for the blog, even with a little extra curve on my body.

Being fierce at any size doesn’t mean I don’t want to be healthy, though.

I can candidly admit that I do have to lose weight. Not for vanity, but for health. I’ve officially reached my 30s and want to be mobile, healthy, and glowing, especially as this blog grows and grows. The added weight to my height isn’t helping my blood pressure and making steps to improve my longevity can always start now. Like wearing sunscreen.

Looking back on old posts, there are things I’ve made that I can’t wear right now which really bums me out. All those clothes are sitting in my closet, waiting to be worn. Unfortunately, within the sewing community this part of sewing doesn’t ever get talked about, just swallowed silently as just another adjustment to make on a pattern piece. For all the effort that I made making my clothes, I want that invested energy to be enjoyed every day and not wasted.

Focusing on weightloss as a seamstress for me means:
- Feeling happy and confident in the clothes I make
- Being able to know my body’s dimensions intimately for a better fitting garment
- Reducing the amount of pattern blending that I’ve been having to do since my weight has increased
I’ll probably still rock a waist cincher– it’s super pin up and vintage and I enjoy it. I love the silhouette it creates and the authenticity it gives my garments. An additional challenge will be to flawlessly take in everything I’ve made over the past year.

I’m ready to experience some weightloss as a seamstress and am actually really looking forward to it. Here’s to a healthy and happy year for me!
October 17, 2016